Time to Think

My mother once wrote something about this.  It was better than what I'm about to write, but I know she would be glad I am making an effort.  Man!  She would have been the greatest blogger ever!!!!! So smart, so funny, so perceptive and observant.....But I am a different person

Now that I'm old I seem to have almost unlimited time to just think.  I say just think because it can be a source of painful embarrassment.  Imagine the following conversation....

"What are you doing?"

"I'm thinking."

"No, I mean what are you doing?"

(Trying to be patient...)  "I just told you. I'm sitting here thinking about things."

"Yes, but what are you doing?"

It would be better to say almost anything else.  You could say "I'm cleaning the toilet," or "I'm throwing up," or "I'm getting ready to go to work."  (very good one!)

But as I think about this very thing - thinking - it seems to me that it really does have value.  The greatest books that have ever been written only happened because someone was thinking.  The most important and useful things that were ever invented came to be because someone thought about it.  

But how many times have you been doing just that - thinking - only to be interrupted by a phone-call with someone asking the dreaded question: "What are you doing?"  Have you ever given the honest answer - Thinking?  It's embarrassing.  You have to make excuses for yourself:  "...uh, mmm.....I was thinking about ironing."

Well, I have been thinking a lot lately.  I mean marathon thinking.  Pondering.  And not about ironing.  

I've been a Christian since I was a young child.  But for most of my life I have been what I would call a "FELT-BOARD CHRISTIAN."  By that I mean I heard the stories of Jesus early in life and immediately believed them.  I have always known and believed in God.  I have always believed that Jesus was the son of God.....and then there was something about his dying for me on the cross....and he rose from the dead, and now he lives in my heart.  I knew all this....on a childish level from the time I was 8 until just recently.  

It is a good thing to surrender yourself to thinking!  I thank God that he has made my brain in such a way that I can do just that.  He has given me a faith in himself that has sustained me, so far, though childish, through over 67 years!  For the most part, it has been a very infantile faith.....never going deeper than the facts learned in felt-board Bible lessons. (The manger scene, the Good Shepherd, Jesus on the Cross and Jesus Rising from the Dead.....Only during the past two years have I become aware of the HUGENESS of this God.  

Only this year have I discovered the truly awesomeness of his grace and mercy to me.  Only this month have I had any valuable understanding of the Holy Spirit, and how he functions within the trinity.

If I had been asked three years ago "Do you love God?"  I would have answered "Of course I do."  If the question had been "Do you know God?"  my answer would have been the same. (Both answers would have been true, but only on a very superficial level.)   Now today I am just beginning to love God and know God....on something more than an infantile level.  There is so much more to God than I had ever known before.  In J.I. Packer's book "Knowing God," he says this, "What is the best thing in life, bringing more joy, delight and contentment than anything else? Knowledge of God."  He goes on to say that "knowing God is a matter of grace....We do not make friends with God; God makes friends with us."  

So I am just getting started, just beginning to know and love the God I have always thought I knew and loved; and I am excited!  And I am THINKING A LOT!  Thank you God, for Time to Think.  I won't apologize for that any longer.  Charles Spurgeon was just thinking when he wrote "All of Grace" (one of my favorite books)......Thank you God, for giving him those thoughts!

Now, I guess I really should wash the dishes................