Vicks Vapo-Rub for Chickens

Found this, an excerpt from a letter to my mother, written April 6, 1982.....


As you know, Mother, we have chickens.  At the moment there are 21 of them occupying the chicken house on our farm.  You've seen pictures of them.  Well, I have been learning a lot about these incredibly dirty creatures since taking charge of them.  (Wow, was I green!  But I'm learning.)


Chickens are not one of your more elegant birds. (How do you like that "your" in there?)  Some of them may look fairly impressive with their bright red combs and beautiful feathers, strutting about the chicken yard.  But they are really nasty, and quite low-class (for birds).  Perhaps you're wondering why my low view of chickens...Well, let me tell you.


ALL chickens enjoy simultaneous eating and defecation, and many of them will engage in those combined activities while standing IN the chicken feed, which all are eating.  Nice, huh?  And they do both of these things CONTINUOUSLY during waking hours.  Naturally, they are completely unaware of the filth into which they thrust their beaks.  (...at least I hope they are unaware of it.)


What I have just described are the ATTRACTIVE qualities of chickens.  Now, on to the unattractive:  Chickens are canibals.  Forgive me.  I could think of no softer way to put it.  When our chickens first came here from Oberlin, Kansas, there were 26 of them; all beautiful Rhode Island Reds, the kind that produce those great brown eggs we love.  Well, Mother, we now have 5 less.  Our dog Luke killed 2 before Jerry figured out a way to prevent them from digging their way out of the chicken yard.  The other three have expired under mysterious circumstances, while locked inside the chicken house - at night.  I began noticing that several of them had grossly-molested bottoms.  (An UNmolested chicken bottom is not much to shout about.)  Then I saw that they were pecking at each other in a frenzied manner.  Yes.  They were pecking at each other's bottoms.  According to Chicken Veterans around here, they (the chickens, not the C.V.s) will gang up on any one of them which is bleeding, then peck it to death.  Horrible!  Disgusting!  But listen while I tell you why this behavior occurs...


A VITAMIN DEFICIENCY.  My, how grateful I am that HUMANS don't respond that way.  Just imagine how busy all the proctologists and gynechologists would be if everyone with a vitamin deficiency began gouging away at the nearest derriere.  Appalling!  


Well, you can imagine how eager I was to find a solution to this atrocious behavior.  I won't list all the suggestions that came my way, only the two which were within my ability to perform.  The first has to do with Vicks Vapo-Rub.  One of the much-esteemed C.V.s told me that if I would rub (excuse me, RUB??!!!) Vicks Vapo-Rub onto their violated parts, it would discourage the others from further assaults.  Well, Mother, as YOUR daughter, you will surely know what my first reaction to that idea was.  I couldn't even THINK of it without becoming faint!  But all the other suggestions involved expensive vitamin supplements, and various other things which were, for us, totally out of the question.  So for 2 more days of horror, I watched, as my beloved chickens attacked one another....each day with more lust, more excitement.  I couldn't stand it.  So, a few weeks ago I took the jar of Vicks from its place in our medicine cabinet and walked out to the arena where my precious feathered charges were gorging themselves on each others' wounded behinds.  It was awful beyond words.


Have you ever chased a chicken?  Well, they're even more difficult to catch when you're threatening them with a Vicks rub.  I chased, I panted, I swore (silently, of course), but one at a time I captured them, holding them upside down with my left hand while smearing this odorous cream on their featherless bottoms.  I winced with each stroke, imagining how it must sting.  (NO ONE, not even brainless chickens, wants that camphorous cream there!)  Some of them squawked and squirmed quite a bit, others just gave me a dirty look and muttered things under their breath.............but I treated each one.  It took a long time, and the chicken house reeked of camphor by the time I finished.  But this bizarre treatment did work! ....for that afternoon.  The next day they were at it again.  


I'm happy to say that my chickens are now getting their feathers back and are treating one another with admirable civility.  You see, we found a less-arduous way to prevent the murderous pecking:  We have added green alfalfa to their daily diet.  (Had I only known..........)  


If anyone had EVER told me that one day, as I neared the age of 40, I would find myself willingly in a filthy chicken house, tenderly rubbing Vicks Vapo-Rub onto the wildly-protesting, oozing, bleeding chicken crotches, I would certainly not have believed it!


Write soon.  I love you and miss you soooooooooo much, my sweet Mother.


Roberta